It has been over two years since the first time I ever went outside bald. I decided to do it as a personal challenge. I needed to accept myself openly and begin to be truly comfortable in my own skin. It is easy to talk the talk but sooner or later, you have to walk the walk. I was nervous, excited and uncomfortable. I wanted to run back in the house but I managed to keep it together and push past those emotions. This moment of liberation was my way to boldly reclaim the self esteem that I had allowed Alopecia to steal from me. It was time to shift my alopecia experience from fear to fearlessness.

Today, two years later, I still have to take a few deep breaths and get my emotions in order before I go outside bald. I don’t do it every day so when I do, I have to do a mental self check and get centered so that I can handle whatever may come my way.

“Ultimately, if I believe that I am beautiful and walk in confidence, then I will exude beauty and persuade others to see the beauty in themselves.” ~ Sandra Dubose-Gibson

This music video is from the documentary film “Project Liberation- My Alopecia Experience. It documents the first time I ever went outside bald on my way to do a bald photo shoot.

Secondly, get over your thoughts of what “THEY” are thinking.

Last month, I went to perform at an outdoor African Arts Festival in a small country town in North Carolina. My daughters, a.k.a. “my entourage”, came with me. I showed up in all of my bald-ilicious glory ready to sing my song and share my story. As my daughters and I walked from the car to the event, we saw many people along the street that stared blatantly at me as we walked by. It was awkward and in all the times I have gone outside au natural, I have never been stared at like this before. They obviously had never encountered too many bald women in their part of town.

I recognized then the power that lies in looking different. To think, if I could walk down the street and have people tune into me with curious eyes, my response to them could make the difference in changing someones perception of what beauty is and create greater sensitivity for others who look different as well. I smiled graciously at them thinking that it was the perfect teachable moment for my children about the importance of self confidence. The stares did not bother me but my children were uncomfortable and growing angry that so many people were staring at their mommy that way. I comforted them by telling them what those people were thinking and saying to each other…….

“Is she some kind of celebrity?”    Maybe…..

“Is she a model?”   Could be…….

The truth is that I have no idea what “THEY” were thinking. No one will ever know how that moment resonated with each of them and I cannot worry about that.  There is no way to maintain a sense of peace or sanity if we obsess about the unknown. At some point we have to divorce ourselves from the fear of being judged by others. We can’t afford to put too much value on the opinions of complete strangers! Now, while it is human nature to want to be accepted and liked, we cannot ask anyone to do for us, what we cannot or will not do for ourselves. Bottom line, what matters most is always what we think of ourselves.

Lastly, choose to be happy in spite of your challenges and you will inspire others to do the same

Any questions the onlookers had, had been answered the moment I took the microphone and educated them about my condition. They realized then, how I embraced my difference so that I can make a difference. I then proceeded to sing a Mary J. Blige crowd favorite, “All I really want is to be happy.”

In that moment as we were rocking out together, they knew and understood that there was no real difference between me and them at all. Singing in unison we recognized that no matter what our external differences are, inside we are all the same and all each of us ever REALLY want, is to be happy!

Debbie-United Kingdom