It has been over two years since the first time I ever went outside bald. I decided to do it as a personal challenge. I needed to accept myself openly and begin to be truly comfortable in my own skin. It is easy to talk the talk but sooner or later, you have to walk the walk. I was nervous, excited and uncomfortable. I wanted to run back in the house but I managed to keep it together and push past those emotions. This moment of liberation was my way to boldly reclaim the self esteem that I had allowed Alopecia to steal from me. It was time to shift my alopecia experience from fear to fearlessness.

Today, two years later, I still have to take a few deep breaths and get my emotions in order before I go outside bald. I don’t do it every day so when I do, I have to do a mental self check and get centered so that I can handle whatever may come my way.

“Ultimately, if I believe that I am beautiful and walk in confidence, then I will exude beauty and persuade others to see the beauty in themselves.” ~ Sandra Dubose-Gibson

This music video is from the documentary film “Project Liberation- My Alopecia Experience. It documents the first time I ever went outside bald on my way to do a bald photo shoot.

Secondly, get over your thoughts of what “THEY” are thinking.

Last month, I went to perform at an outdoor African Arts Festival in a small country town in North Carolina. My daughters, a.k.a. “my entourage”, came with me. I showed up in all of my bald-ilicious glory ready to sing my song and share my story. As my daughters and I walked from the car to the event, we saw many people along the street that stared blatantly at me as we walked by. It was awkward and in all the times I have gone outside au natural, I have never been stared at like this before. They obviously had never encountered too many bald women in their part of town.

I recognized then the power that lies in looking different. To think, if I could walk down the street and have people tune into me with curious eyes, my response to them could make the difference in changing someones perception of what beauty is and create greater sensitivity for others who look different as well. I smiled graciously at them thinking that it was the perfect teachable moment for my children about the importance of self confidence. The stares did not bother me but my children were uncomfortable and growing angry that so many people were staring at their mommy that way. I comforted them by telling them what those people were thinking and saying to each other…….

“Is she some kind of celebrity?”    Maybe…..

“Is she a model?”   Could be…….

The truth is that I have no idea what “THEY” were thinking. No one will ever know how that moment resonated with each of them and I cannot worry about that.  There is no way to maintain a sense of peace or sanity if we obsess about the unknown. At some point we have to divorce ourselves from the fear of being judged by others. We can’t afford to put too much value on the opinions of complete strangers! Now, while it is human nature to want to be accepted and liked, we cannot ask anyone to do for us, what we cannot or will not do for ourselves. Bottom line, what matters most is always what we think of ourselves.

Lastly, choose to be happy in spite of your challenges and you will inspire others to do the same

Any questions the onlookers had, had been answered the moment I took the microphone and educated them about my condition. They realized then, how I embraced my difference so that I can make a difference. I then proceeded to sing a Mary J. Blige crowd favorite, “All I really want is to be happy.”

In that moment as we were rocking out together, they knew and understood that there was no real difference between me and them at all. Singing in unison we recognized that no matter what our external differences are, inside we are all the same and all each of us ever REALLY want, is to be happy!

The 1st A.C.T Meeting

On Thursday, September 10, 2009, The Alopecia Community of the Triangle (A.C.T.) met for our very first meeting.  It was a wonderful event that will be recorded as the birth date of a long and prosperous history now in the making. It is an amazing feeling when you can see a vision come into reality. The process of giving birth to it may present challenges but the joy of the delivery and the ability to watch it grow makes it all worthwhile!

9-10-09  Rewind and Review

I am grateful for every heart that attended our very first meeting. There were several people who expressed interest in attending but due to schedule conflicts etc., there were some last minute cancellations that left us with a modest attendance of 5 amazing women. Our children played in the gym so that we could indulge in uninterrupted, stimulating adult conversation. It was a perfect start to some beautiful friendships and we sat together talking, sharing our stories and eating birthday cake. Yum!

I reviewed in detail the mission, vision &  goals for A.C.T. and each one of us left with our hearts and bellies full. We were filled with  anticipation for the next time we will come together, knowing that the attendance will increase every time we meet. I don’t despise humble beginnings, I embrace them, and as we grow, it will only lend itself to be a more compelling testimony. Now I can confidently  say, that we are off to a great start!

What’s up next?

Our next meeting is scheduled for Thursday, October 15, 2009. There is a standing open invitation for anyone who is impacted by hair loss to join us. If you have any form of Alopecia Areata, hair loss due to chemotherapy, illness, genetics or otherwise,  you are more than welcome to partner with us and get the support you need. Please RSVP due to limited seating and to allow for planning in advance. RSVP by e-mail to Sandra@ AlopeciaCommunity.org or by phone at 919-610-5420.

For more information, visit our website: www.AlopeciaCommunity.org

• October 15^th- 2^nd ACT Meeting @ Apex Community Center 7:15 PM
• November 12^th- 3^rd ACT Meeting @ Apex Community Center 7:15 PM
• December- In lieu of a regular monthly meeting we will have a Holiday Dinner Party for members & guests only/Date and location TBD

*Live entertainment (Christmas carols performed by Sandra Dubose-Gibson AND friends)

*Raffle for a special door prize to a lucky winner!

Tentative: Holiday Parade- A.C.T. will participate in a parade and attendees will ride on a float to promote Alopecia Awareness

• January 2010- Meeting date and location TBD

*Save the date/ Weekend of January 23^rd - Luncheon for women with “Bald Girls Do Lunch”

Learn more about this organization at:  www.baldgirlsdolunch.org

• June 24^th -27^th, 2010– 25^th Annual NAAF Conference in Indianapolis, Indiana
• July 2010- National Bald out Day- Possible Bald Out Bus Ride to Carrowinds Amusement Park

I look forward to seeing your face in the place at our next meeting.

The Alopecia Community of the Triangle. Discovering true beauty from the inside-out!

The Alopecia Community of the Triangle was created to bring the alopecia (hair loss) community together in and around the Raleigh, North Carolina area.  A.C.T offers support, a safe environment to share and a place to be empowered. You will be given the tools you need to build your self confidence and the opportunity to build relationships with others who can personally relate to your experience.  We offer free empowerment workshops and small group sessions for each age group to meet the needs of each participant.

Whether you are struggling with Alopecia or in a place of acceptance and regained confidence, there is a purpose for you here. Together we can help each other turn what was negative into a positive. We seek out opportunities to be “change agents” in our community by participating in activities that help others while promoting Alopecia Awareness.

Mission Statement

A.C.T. is a unified body of diverse individuals impacted by Alopecia personally or through someone we love. We have joined together to provide emotional support, a  safe place for sharing and improve self confidence. Anyone living with Alopecia Areata, hair loss due to chemotherapy, illness or otherwise is welcome to join regardless of race, gender or age. We will foster authentic self esteem by participating in community activities that help others while promoting Alopecia awareness in our community.

A.C.T. Groups

General meetings will often be separated into subgroups by age range, to ensure the conversation content focuses on the needs and concerns of that specific group. This is an example of categories for potential subgroups:

1. Women 21+ up- Adult women only
2. Men 21+ up- Adult men only
3. Teen/Young Adults- Teens connect with other teens and talk about issues like dating, individuality and the challenges of being different.
4. Elementary/Middle School Age- Young children can choose to sit in a group session and talk or spend time bonding together in a supervised play date in the gym.
5. Parents of children with Alopecia- Parents can share resources, offer support and parenting advice on how to manage their emotions while meeting the needs of their child.
6. Family/loved ones- Spouses and family members have an opportunity to share their experience and learn ways to support the ones they love with Alopecia.

Meeting Agenda for Thursday, September 10, 2009

7:15-7:30 PM Arrival, sign in and refreshments

7:30- 8:30 pm General Meeting

• Introductions
• Ice Breaker
• Kids can be dismissed to go to the gym/game room (optional)
• Sharing- open session

8:30- 8:45 pm closing words of inspiration from Sandra Dubose-Gibson, President of A.C.T.

• Announcements  & Good byes
• Next meeting October 15, 2009 7:15-8:45 PM
  

Apex Community Center

53 Hunter Street

Apex, N.C. 27502-2312

The Alopecia Community of the Triangle, discovering true beauty from the inside-out!

This week I decided to share an inspirational poem, for women and young girls that will one day grow up to be women. What does a phenomenal woman look like? Is it a physical attribute? Or is it something that comes from the core of who we really are inside? Websters dictionary defines phenomenal as an extraordinary person or thing. Here is a question for you to ponder: Are you living up to your extraordinary potential? Are you a phenomenal woman?

When I need a little encouragement, I go to my elders or sometimes I find it in an inspirational poem, for women.

The words in this poem capture the truth about the way we all need to feel and think about ourselves and acknowledge in others. It is a gentle reminder and a confidence booster when we lose focus. I hold these words dear to my heart as a source of clarity when my mirror of self gets foggy. There are days when I get caught up and frustrated with what I consider to be  my outward imperfections and I start to measure myself with a broken ruler. I keep this poem in my arsenal of weapons and I fight the good fight with these truths that I have extracted from this poem:

• True beauty comes from a sacred place of spirit within that no one can touch. It is indeed a mystery that leaves those that love you wondering, “what is that indescribable, untouchable thing about you that makes me love you so much?!”
• You may not look like the typical carbon copied cover of a magazine but neither do the models in reality. Superimposed pictures of barbie dolls are not to be compared to the real essence of your beauty. They can’t figure out how you do it. You are an original. Often imitated, never duplicated!
• You don’t ever have to pretend to be something your not or put on a show. Your grace and style exude everywhere you go. Even when you are silent, your presence is just that powerful.

Those are just a few points that I take away from the remarkable words of Dr. Maya Angelou. I hope that you will be fed from her well of wisdom today. Don’t let anything or anyone dim the fire in your eyes. Let your light shine for the world to see, the phenomenal woman in you and me!

This youtube video clip is taken from an amazing performance of  the poem “Phenomenal Women” being recited by the one and only Dr. Maya Angelou. This lovely dancer does an interpretive dance creatively using her body to express the emotions that are invoked through these powerful words. Enjoy!

Phenomenal Woman by: Dr. Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I always look forward to hearing from you so write in and post your favorite inspirational poem for women. Be sure to cite the author or feel free to share an original copy written piece.

True beauty shining through!

We all know that hair loss can negatively impact your self esteem no matter who you are. Man, woman, boy, girl, black, white, rich or poor, hair matters. I contend that you never truly realize how important your hair is to you until you start to lose some. The pain of the loss is a universal feeling and it connects those who are dealing with it, which is why the NAAF Conference is so powerful and important.

“We have the power to heal each other’s pain.” – SDG

During the conference, I had the pleasure of connecting with many wonderful people from all walks of life but then something happened that I could not have expected. I looked up to find a group of African American women who were bald like me. As a first time attendee at a NAAF Conference, this was a new experience for me. I found comfort in seeing my reflection in the faces of these women.  We stood there admiring each other’s beauty and in that moment there was a spirit of peace that came over each of us. It was an indescribable feeling that brought us all to tears as we stood holding hands and hugging one another. I believe that we were releasing a deep rooted pain that we did not even realize was there. The feeling was unspoken yet understood. We stood together in the spirit of love and we celebrated our collective triumph over stereotypes and low self-esteem. Looking at one another, we understood more than ever that we were lacking nothing. Our beauty was intact and our vision was clear.

Black hair is……

As an African American woman, I believe that our relationship with hair is especially unique. Given our history from slavery until today, black women have had great challenges in finding our rightful place in what society advertises as the standard of beauty. At first we were told that our skin was too dark. We had to learn to embrace and appreciate the many shades of brown we encompass. This was a challenge in society and even within our own families. We were told that our bodies were too curvaceous and we had to learn to appreciate our hips, our lips and curves. Over the years, those attributes have become not only acceptable in mainstream media but the object of their desire. While most of the world has now awakened and recognized our natural beauty, the issue of black hair still seems to be on the table. “Good hair” or “bad hair”, black hair has been a symbol of strength, pride and yet ridicule. Our hair has a history and a legacy all it’s own that we hold dear. From afros to dread locks to NO locks, we now stand in this new bald identity. Our pride is not based just on the color of our skin, but given our challenges, it comes from our God given strength within.

The truth is:

“In the big scheme of things, it really does not matter if you are black, white or other; for EVERY color is beautiful when you are looking through the eyes of love at another.”

Say it loud, I'm bald and I'm proud!

Write in and share your moment of truth. I love and look forward to hearing from you!

Voice of 1- Raleigh, North Carolina

S.S.C.- New York

Vanessa-Bronx, New York

Debbie-United Kingdom