This honor means so much to me because I have been recognized by successful women that I personally admire just for being my authentic self and having the tenacity to pursue my dreams. It is the sweetest pat on the back that makes the hard times all worthwhile. Winning this confirms for me that I am headed in the right direction and it is a source of motivation for me to continue moving forward in the most radical way. I am truly humbled and grateful for this honor.

There were so many pearls of wisdom that were shared by the speakers at the conference that enriched my life. I have pages of notes and even now my heart is still overflowing from the loving energy that permeated the conference all weekend. When women come together on one accord n the spirit of sisterhood and set the intention to create a radical transformative experience, it is a powerful thing! I highly recommend attending this conference in 2013 to any woman that is serious about moving to the next level in her life and wants to surround herself with like minded women and leaders who can guide her along the way.

There were so many take a ways of truth spoken that resonated for me that have literally changed my life. Below is just a few of the nuggets that were shared in the general sessions. I hope that you will be inspired to Get Radical about your own success in a bold and courageous way and I look forward to seeing you at the conference in March 2013! www.getradicalconference.com

Doreen Rainey- Radical Success Coach (pictured with me above)

“Stop whining and looking over the fence at what other people are doing. Put your focus on what you DO have and what DOES work and work that. If you don’t like something, do something about it or decide not to. If you decide not to, then you have the LOST the right to complain about it. “

Monique Greenwood-former Editor-in-chief of Essence Magazine and author of Having What Matters

“Do the work that honors you and fulfills you. Success is subjective so define success on your own terms. When you have financial freedom, you have true freedom.” (pictured with me to the right)

Ali Brown- Entrepreneur Business Coach (As seen on ABC’s Secret Millionaire)

“These days, SAFE is the new RISK!  You may never feel totally ready to start your business venture but if you take the first step, things will begin to happen. Start with a passion for your business and figure out how to turn that into a profit. Your business needs to make money or your dreams will fail.”

Suze Orman- Internationally acclaimed personal finance expert

“You will never be powerful in life until you are powerful OVER your own money. You are the obstacle for not being where you want to be in life. Power attracts money, powerlessness repels it. Debt is Bondage!”

Jillian Michaels- Top Fitness Trainer, Health & Wellness Expert (As seen on the Biggest Loser)

“Have patience and trust that life is always preparing you for the right time. Don’t be impulsive. Live in the pause. You can always tell someone to go to hell tomorrow. (Quoted from Warren Buffet) “Never give up, be the last man standing.”

Lisa Nichols- Breakthrough Specialist (As seen in “The Secret”)

“Live a breathtaking life. Serve others from your overflow so you do not get depleted. Give from your saucer, not your cup. Align your life so that the tongue in your mouth and the tongue in your shoe are not going in two different directions! Yes, YES!!!”

Lisa Price owner of Carols Daughter Natural Beauty Products and the 2012 RADICAL Impact Award Recipient.

(pictured with me to the right)

2011 was hands down one of the most exciting years of my life. It was a whirlwind that blew me from one part of North Carolina to the next, promoting Alopecia Areata awareness and healthy self esteem for women of all ages. I feel incredibly blessed to be able to share my story and use it as a source of inspiration for others. Becoming 2011 Mrs. Black NC USA, has allowed me to experience huge leaps of personal growth and increased confidence in many areas of my life. Stepping out of my comfort zone and doing the thing I thought I could not do, has been the secret to my success.

I think back now to the weeks before the pageant when I was still uncertain about participating. I had signed up but I really felt like I was in over my bald head. I thought the process was supposed to be fun. For me, it was an emotional roller coaster. Although I love to perform, I hate to compete. My nerves can’t handle the stress and pressure of being judged and having to measure my gifts against someone else. It is not my favorite thing to do. I pushed past the knots in my stomach because I understood the significance winning would have for me and for others like me. It was worth fighting for and the victory has repaid me in ways that far outweigh the inner turmoil it cost to make it happen.

The Reign Will End but the Legacy Will Live Forever

On March 24, 2012, my reign will officially end and I will crown the new 2012 Mrs. Black NC USA. Having made history and subsequently national headlines by becoming the 1^st Bald Beauty Queen of North Carolina, I am proud to say that my legacy will live on forever. Of all the great things that resulted from winning, having created a legacy for my family to be proud of is my greatest accomplishment. When I allow my mind to look into the future, I imagine my children’s, children talking about Nana Sandra who won a pageant back in the olden days of 2011. My crown and sash will then be a family heirloom my grand babies will want to try on in remembrance of me. Connecting to my warrior spirit, they too will know that they are kings and queens with the ability to make a mark in history all their own. To be able to inspire generations even after I am gone is a priceless gift and the stuff life is really made of. This is the potential we all possess to impact the world in our own special way with a crown and without.

My Most Memorable Experiences

When I think back on some of the most memorable experiences I have had throughout my reign thus far, there are a couple that stick out for me the most. The first is the Project Liberation Movement Tour when I visited public libraries in 8 different cities within the state of North Carolina. I showed my documentary film, “Project Liberation, My Alopecia Experience” and afterward facilitated a dialogue about hair loss with the audience. We created a safe space where people of like mind came to get information and share their testimonies. The healing that took place for me and for everyone was life changing. There were cleansing tears, laughter and new friendships formed. There is a power that lies in coming together and sharing your story. Seeing the beautiful faces and connecting with people who came from all over the state filled my heart tremendously and solidified for me what this journey and role is really all about. Being a Queen is not just about some pretty dress, or about wearing a crown, it is about servant leadership.

Another great moment took place on November 2, 2011 at the Charlotte Convention Center. I participated in the North Carolina Governors Conference for Women. I was invited to sit on a panel discussion for a breakout session on Personal Branding and was also the featured soloist during the luncheon. I had the honor of performing my original music before 1500 women including Governor Beverly Perdue, the Mayor of Charlotte, Anthony Foxx and Valerie Jarrett, the Senior Advisor to President Barack Obama. It was the highlight of my career thus far and I was honored to contribute to such an amazing day of sisterhood and empowerment. Like the scripture says, “your gifts will make room for you and bring you before great men and women.” Proverbs 18:16

“You never know where life will take you when you follow your heart and your dreams. I can tell you that the road has not been easy but it is worth it and the story is just beginning for this Bald Beauty Queen!”

Join my email list to receive blog updates and the latest information about the Spring 2012 release of my book, “My Crown and Glory, It’s Not About the Hair.” In this memoir, I candidly share very personal life experiences from my childhood up to adulthood that taught me valuable lessons in overcoming low self esteem. This tell all look inside my life is sure to leave you entertained, informed and enlightened.   

To check my availability for bookings as a motivational speaker and professional performing artist, visit: www.SandraDubose.com

Visit my You Tube Channel to see video footage of my performances and connect with me personally on Facebook and Twitter.

This award recognizes and honors the woman who is bold and courageous enough to depart from the usual, expected or ordinary in order to take charge of her professional and personal life. This woman lives with purpose and passion in all that she does and is committed to defining success for herself. She has designed a lifestyle that reflects her commitment to her family, her career, her community

When I stop to consider what it means to be a radical woman and what that looks like for me, the one word that comes to mind is stick-to-itiveness. If there is one thing that I like most about myself, it is the fact that I don’t stop trying. I may get knocked down and often times things don’t work out the way I planned it but I simply refuse to give up. Against all odds, failure is not an option and turning back is not up for discussion. I have made a commitment to myself that I will no longer settle for less than what I believe I deserve. It is a radical mindset but when you do what you love and you know you are walking in your purpose, forward is the only visible direction. There are a few things in life I believe we should all be radical about:

Be radical about living your truth:

Living a lie to create a mediocre (safe) existence will never satisfy and never reward us with the abundant life we have all been promised. Be willing to stand alone but know that the universe will send you people of like mind and like spirit to connect with you as you honor your highest self.

Be radical about using your God given talents to serve the world:

We have all been blessed with unique gifts and talents all our own. It is our responsibility to open them up and share them with the rest of the world. It is not a luxury, it is your birthright.

Be radical about dreaming in color, living out loud and creating a legacy that will make your existence on this earth memorable long after you are gone:

Our time here on earth is short and every day brings a new opportunity to create the experience we really want to have. Start today by dreaming up a life that makes you excited to get up in the morning. Create something wonderful to look forward to and always let your light shine full blaze.

Be radical about loving wholeheartedly, feeling deeply and laughing often from your belly:

From the wisdom of those who have had near death experiences and lived to tell about it, the resounding truth is the same. Live today, love today, and laugh today. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone.  Be fully present and enjoy your life moment by moment.

I am radical. Radical about sharing this positive energy and doing my part to inspire others to wake up and liberate themselves in a way that makes life a dance and not a dirge. I choose to be radical and I am glad to know that I am not alone. There is a radical woman network, resources and fellowship available for those who dare to step into radical shoes. The Get Radical Conference presented by Doreen Rainey takes place on March 30^th through April 1^st at the Hyatt Hotel in Reston Virginia (Washington, DC. area). During the awards program, they will announce who the actual winner will be. I am honored to be in the running and just to be recognized for the work that I do in the presence of women like Doreen Rainey, Jillian Michaels, Lisa Nichols and Suze Orman. Attending the conference is a reward all by itself but living the life of my dreams is the greatest gift of all.

Each adult was to bring her a gift that would add to her life by imparting wisdom and an offering that would benefit her in her life’s journey. Her Aunt gave her a copy of a beautiful poem. She placed it on a cardboard frame that was handmade. It was decorated with cow shells and dripping with love and thoughtfulness. It was rolled up like a scroll and tied with a string. I thought it was the most perfect gift I had ever seen. It was clearly from the heart and therefore more precious than any sale item in a department store.  The words of the poem attached were like water for me in a dessert at that time in my life. I read it over and over again like a mantra. I wanted a copy of the poem for myself. In the true spirit of giving, my best friend was gracious enough to entrust me with her gift. Seeing how it impacted me, she let me hold it if I promised to cherish it and give it back to her as found. She knew I needed it more than she did at the time. I put it on my dresser and read it every day. Eventually, I got strong enough to give it back but the words stay etched in my heart forever. By the time I returned it, it was the perfect gift for her, at the perfect time in her life.

During this holiday season, whether you are married, single or spoken for, remember this;

The foundation to a healthy relationship is the ability to love yourself first. When you learn how to satisfy your own soul, you bring 100% to the table without any expectation or need for someone else to make you feel whole. That is a lifelong lesson of balance that we all need to be reminded of periodically. Even in happy, long term relationships, we can often find ourselves lost and leaning too much on our partner. It is easy to lose a part of yourself when your individual identity is overshadowed by your role as a spouse. Remember that you never have to wait for someone to bring you flowers to feel special. You can always plant your own garden and no one can ever take the joy of that bloom away from you.

Today I share the gift of this poem with you. Happy Valentine’s Day with love from my heart to yours!

Comes the Dawn

By: Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning,
and company doesn’t always mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses are not contracts,
and presents aren’t promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead…

With the grace of a woman,
not the grief of a child.

And you learn
To build all your roads on today,

Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much…

So, you plant your own garden,
and decorate your own soul…
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure…
you really are strong,
you really do have worth.

And you learn, and you learn…
with every goodbye,

You Learn…

1st Bald Beauty Queen in North Carolina

My alopecia experience began right after my 25th birthday. I would wake up to find coin sized, round, bald patches on my scalp. My  biggest fear at the time, was that I would become completely bald. As most people do after receiving a diagnosis of any illness, I searched the internet for information, answers and pictures. I remember getting a knot in my stomach whenever I saw pictures of men, women and children with different forms of Alopecia Areata. I did not want to look like that and I certainly did not want to deal with this situation for the rest of my life knowing that there is no medical cure. I wondered what I had done in my life to deserve this kind of punishment. It all felt so unfair. I mean, I was a nice person. Hadn’t I endured enough trauma in my life already? What made God think this would be a challenge that I could handle given my history of low self esteem?  Had he not been paying attention all these years?! I was angry inside. I was confused, afraid and I felt very “unlucky” to say the least. There was no way that I could anticipate that those painful moments and heavy emotions would eventually give way to my present reality.

“Time may heal all wounds but we must do the work of cleaning out the wound so that it can heal properly.” ~SDG

Over the past 12 years, I have gone through many stages in my alopecia experience. It wasn’t until 2008 that I became ready to move forward in my healing process and take a position of leadership to help others liberate themselves from the pain I decided to leave behind. I could not carry the burden of feeling bad or waiting for my hair to grow back anymore. If being bald for life was my sentence, I was going to live it up in my cell and party like a rock star! When it was time to let go, I simply made a conscious decision to choose freedom over fear. Helping others became my way of turning lemons into lemonade and putting the pain of alopecia in a choke hold. Once I started to speak out, it became clear that my experience was bigger than me. I saw that my story was a universal lesson that everyone could learn from about self esteem. Stepping out was not only allowing me to solidify the truth in myself but it became an example for others of the power of perspective and the ability we each have to change our minds and create a new experience in our lives.

A New Crown and Glory

On Saturday, March 26, 2011, I decided to push my personal envelope a little farther. Coming out of my comfort zone, doing something I had never done before, I competed in a beauty pageant and won the crown of 2011 Mrs. Black North Carolina! It was one of the greatest moments in my life for so many reasons. Not only was I standing for myself to prove that I was just as beautiful, talented, qualified and capable as the other flawless contestants, I stood as a representative for a population of women who may struggle with low self esteem and feel as though they are not good enough with hair or without. I stood for my two daughters who cheered me on from the audience to show them that all things are possible when we believe in ourselves, no matter what. I stood as a warrior defeating the monster of alopecia that comes to slay us of our self esteem by taking away what we were taught to believe is our crown and glory.

On this day, I celebrated my New Crown and Glory. In exchange for my full head of hair, I have been blessed with a full understanding of the beauty that lies within me and in others. I had never in my life dreamed of competing in a beauty pageant. Ironically, even when I had hair, it was never a thought that crossed my mind. This year, with brand new eyes, I saw that entering a beauty pageant would afford me the opportunity to prove to the world that our beauty has nothing to do with hair or any of our physical attributes. Our true crown and glory can never be taken away or even won in a pageant. It is the essence of ME. It is the essence of YOU. Mind, Body and Spirit. I am honored and grateful to have won the crown but for this accomplishment, God truly gets all the glory!

The Project Liberation Movement

As 2011 Mrs. Black North Carolina, my goal is to tour the United States raising awareness of Alopecia Areata and to promote healthy self esteem in women of all ages. This is my “Project Liberation Movement” and I plan to go into schools, churches, speak to women’s groups and at conferences to share my message through words and song. My personal anthem is a song I wrote entitled, “I’m Beautiful.” I sing it every where I go and the response is overwhelming. Please support my efforts today by downloading this music to help me get this message out to those who need it most.

“Project Liberation; My Alopecia Experience Music Soundtrack” is available for digital download on ITUNES, CD Baby, Amazon and other online record stores.  Thank you in advance for your financial support, words of encouragement and most importantly, your prayers.

Click the link below to view the news coverage of my 1st performance as 2011 Mrs. Black North Carolina courtesy of WRAL.

Bald Beauty Queen sings at Southern Women’s Show

At the start of my journey with Alopecia, I never dreamed it could ever be an issue that I would look at as “a blessing.”  The only dream I had was the one where I woke up to the return of a full head of hair and my life back the way it was before it all started. I held on to that dream for years. Mentally and emotionally, I felt like I was holding my breath in anticipation of that glorious day.  After it did, I would write a book about how awful the ordeal was, but not until it was all over. I would not share or help others until I had the “victory.” That was my plan.

Wake up to the truth

The moment I woke up and realized that healing had a broader definition than what I understood, is the day I began my inner project of liberation. My perspective had to change so I can free myself from being stuck in that moment of time. I had to stop waiting for it to be over and start living through it, breathing through it. Life is too short to put your happiness on hold until it gives you exactly what you want. Things may not unfold the way you think it will. I have learned that if you open yourself up to the experience and release your expectations for the outcome, you can gain valuable insight from it. The situation can evolve into something more beautiful and rewarding than you could have ever imagined.

Here are 5 Tips for transforming a bad experience into a blessing:

1. Trust the wisdom of the universe.  Learn the art of surrender and the act of faith.

2. Understand that all things inevitably work together for the good and there is a pearl of wisdom available to be found in every life challenge. Focus on the pearl, not the pain.

3. Decide to use your mental power to open your mind rather than hold fast to thoughts and beliefs that do not serve the goal of inner and outer peace.

4. Be teachable, be humble and be open. The answers come but only when you are ready to hear them.

5. Be grateful. Things can always be worse. Even when things feel bad, know that there is somebody somewhere who would love to be in your shoes. Maintain a grateful spirit. It makes the heavy load, a little lighter.

My on-air Aha moment

On July 29, 2010, I had the pleasure of sitting down for an interview with Dr. Allen Mask of the WRAL Channel 5 Health Team. I shared my Alopecia experience with him and my gift of song, words and film. It wasn’t until that moment sitting in the living room, being asked specific questions that I heard myself admit that Alopecia has turned out to be a blessing in my life. I had not acknowledged it but the level of growth and personal development I have been forced to experience as a result of it, has allowed me to blossom in ways I never thought I could. It has opened up doors for me creatively and gave me a platform to stand on, be heard and to make a difference. With a merry heart and a bald head, my life is yet but a dream.

Check out my interview with Dr. Allen Mask on the WRAL Channel 5 Health Team Report:

Click the link below to view the video clip.

Loss of hair is ‘blessing’ for Raleigh woman

Clayton Brock, Sandra Dubose and Dr. Allen Mask

It has been over two years since the first time I ever went outside bald. I decided to do it as a personal challenge. I needed to accept myself openly and begin to be truly comfortable in my own skin. It is easy to talk the talk but sooner or later, you have to walk the walk. I was nervous, excited and uncomfortable. I wanted to run back in the house but I managed to keep it together and push past those emotions. This moment of liberation was my way to boldly reclaim the self esteem that I had allowed Alopecia to steal from me. It was time to shift my alopecia experience from fear to fearlessness.

Today, two years later, I still have to take a few deep breaths and get my emotions in order before I go outside bald. I don’t do it every day so when I do, I have to do a mental self check and get centered so that I can handle whatever may come my way.

“Ultimately, if I believe that I am beautiful and walk in confidence, then I will exude beauty and persuade others to see the beauty in themselves.” ~ Sandra Dubose-Gibson

This music video is from the documentary film “Project Liberation- My Alopecia Experience. It documents the first time I ever went outside bald on my way to do a bald photo shoot.

Secondly, get over your thoughts of what “THEY” are thinking.

Last month, I went to perform at an outdoor African Arts Festival in a small country town in North Carolina. My daughters, a.k.a. “my entourage”, came with me. I showed up in all of my bald-ilicious glory ready to sing my song and share my story. As my daughters and I walked from the car to the event, we saw many people along the street that stared blatantly at me as we walked by. It was awkward and in all the times I have gone outside au natural, I have never been stared at like this before. They obviously had never encountered too many bald women in their part of town.

I recognized then the power that lies in looking different. To think, if I could walk down the street and have people tune into me with curious eyes, my response to them could make the difference in changing someones perception of what beauty is and create greater sensitivity for others who look different as well. I smiled graciously at them thinking that it was the perfect teachable moment for my children about the importance of self confidence. The stares did not bother me but my children were uncomfortable and growing angry that so many people were staring at their mommy that way. I comforted them by telling them what those people were thinking and saying to each other…….

“Is she some kind of celebrity?”    Maybe…..

“Is she a model?”   Could be…….

The truth is that I have no idea what “THEY” were thinking. No one will ever know how that moment resonated with each of them and I cannot worry about that.  There is no way to maintain a sense of peace or sanity if we obsess about the unknown. At some point we have to divorce ourselves from the fear of being judged by others. We can’t afford to put too much value on the opinions of complete strangers! Now, while it is human nature to want to be accepted and liked, we cannot ask anyone to do for us, what we cannot or will not do for ourselves. Bottom line, what matters most is always what we think of ourselves.

Lastly, choose to be happy in spite of your challenges and you will inspire others to do the same

Any questions the onlookers had, had been answered the moment I took the microphone and educated them about my condition. They realized then, how I embraced my difference so that I can make a difference. I then proceeded to sing a Mary J. Blige crowd favorite, “All I really want is to be happy.”

In that moment as we were rocking out together, they knew and understood that there was no real difference between me and them at all. Singing in unison we recognized that no matter what our external differences are, inside we are all the same and all each of us ever REALLY want, is to be happy!

Sandra Dubose-Gibson

When asked by moderator, Lauren Lake at the 2010 Women’s Empowerment Expo, what I thought was the #1 issue women are wrestling with as it relates to “good hair” and the “Hollywood Complex”, I offered a few points to ponder:

• We have to stop comparing ourselves to other women and instead uncover and accept our own unique beauty whether we have short hair, long hair or in my case, no hair at all.
• Understand that we were not made to look the same but we are each our own individual expression of the image and likeness of God and he does not make mistakes.
• No matter what physical changes we go through, know that our true beauty comes from our spirit within.
• We have to accept ourselves for who we are and what we look like because people are going to see us, the way we see ourselves.

While hair is an important attribute to a woman’s identity of beauty, there are many other non-physical traits of beauty in every woman that we must identify and appreciate.

Some times in life we may have experiences that will challenge our self esteem. It is easy to feel good about yourself when you are not dealing with circumstances beyond your control and you look the way you want to look. Just as it is easy to love someone when they are making you happy. The truth is revealed only through test and trials. Then and only then can we find out what we are really made of. This is why we need to cultivate a deeper understanding of self and a  broader perspective of beauty in ourselves and in others.

When we suffer through any unwanted physical changes, it is easy to just focus on the negative and forget about all of the positive things we have going for ourselves. I don’t care if the issue is hair loss, weight gain, a pimple or a crooked tooth. These imperfections seemingly take over our mirror and cause us to forget that our beauty is bigger than that one issue. I find that often times we are harder on ourselves than we are on others. If the people who we truly love had any of those issues, we would show them more compassion and acceptance than we do ourselves. This is a mindset we must work to change.

The Beauty Test: An exercise to Identify Physical and Non-Physical Beauty Attributes To Increase Self-Esteem

Sometimes we need to be reminded of the greatness we possess to shift our perspective from darkness to light. You don’t have to wait for someone else to acknowledge your beauty, give yourself a self esteem boost by taking this beauty test today. Make a list of your best attributes whether they are physical or non-physical. I am confident that you will find that there are many things to love about yourself and to be proud of. Own your own individual beauty and do not compare yourself to anyone else. You will do yourself a great disservice and miss out on the authentic beauty which is you. Here is a cheat sheet of my list to get you moving in the right direction.

A few of my Best Attributes

-  My sense of humor

-  My Kind Disposition

-  Sharing and Caring for Others

-  Curves to die for

-  A Beautiful bald head

-  Soft, smooth (hairless) skin

Identifying these attributes helps increase my self-esteem by keeping my eye on the prize, the true essence of me.

Please share a beauty attribute, or two, of yours from your Beauty test. Post your comments and give yourself a shout out. In doing so, you could help others identify the beauty they may have overlooked within themselves.

Beauty is not made up of just one characteristic. There are many aspects about a person that attribute to their beauty. Contrary to the Hollywood created stereotypes of “so called” beauty, only part of it is external. The root of the word stems from what is inside. Like they say, “A tree is known, by the fruit it bares.”  I remember the exact moment in time when I realized that the attributes of beauty are decided in the mind’s eye of the beholder and it is true for them even if I disagree.

Looking through the eyes of love

Having gone bald as a result of Alopecia Universalis starting at the age of 25, caused me to become very insecure within my marriage. At that time we had been married for 4 years and our first daughter was only 1 years old. Intimacy became a real struggle for me because I did not feel beautiful anymore. I used to think, “How could he possibly want me looking like this?” I felt his advances were done as an act of kindness, obligation or maybe even pity. He told me often how sexy I still was in his eyes. I did not see it, so I did not believe him. I became distant, angry and unavailable. I rejected the love and acceptance that was being offered. Deep inside I believed that he would eventually leave me.

What happens behind closed doors?

One night, my husband lovingly expressed his frustration with the way that I had been handling my Alopecia experience. To the world I seemed to be doing fine but he was the one who took the blows when I cried myself to sleep and woke up angry every morning.  He told me that he could handle me losing my hair and that it honestly did not matter to him. He still felt that I was beautiful and he loved me with or without hair. What he could not handle was my new found low self esteem, regular pity parties and depression. THAT WAS UNATTRACTIVE. He explained to me that my confidence and upbeat personality is what drew him to me and what he fell in love with, not my hair. Talk about an AHA moment! When it was all said and done, my CONFIDENCE, wit and personality was the top lock key to unlock the heart of my husband. Who knew?! I realized then, that the outer package is not nearly as important as the content inside. I don’t want to just LOOK beautiful, I want to BE beautiful and I decide what the definition of beauty is for me and you can do the same for you.

What to do when the truth hurts

I learned that evening that I had a limited view of beauty and was only afflicting additional pain upon myself. My husband was not leaving me but I was pushing him away. Not only was Alopecia going to take away my hair but I was allowing it to take away my self esteem, my joy, my personality and subsequently my marriage. I had to turn my pain into a point of power and start fighting back. Somehow I was going to have to shake the bald blues. I wanted to be the woman my husband fell in love with and the sexiest bald woman he had ever seen! I could not change the fact that I did not have hair, but I could decide to love myself in spite of it and understand my worth. The process takes time to climb the mountain of personal liberation. That moment of truth with my husband was the catalyst that motivated me to walk towards the light and illuminate in a way that inspires others to find their own path. The experience was a blessing in disguise and taught me an invaluable lesson about beauty, love and marriage. What will be the catalyst for you? If you need a little inspiration, I know where you can find it.

Finding my path and walking in my purpose

In honor of Women’s History Month, on Saturday, March 20, 2010, Radio One will hold the 16^th Annual Women’s Empowerment Expo at the RBC Arena in Raleigh, North Carolina. I have been invited to participate as a panelist in the beauty seminar, “The Hollywood Complex: The Truth Behind beauty”.

I am honored and excited to weigh in on the topic of beauty from a bald woman’s perspective. I believe I have something of value to share and my heart is open to receive. This is an entire day event dedicated to uplifting African American women in every area of our lives. There will be over 14,000 people in attendance, vendors, seminars, food, education, entertainment and most of all, empowerment for all.

It will be a great day of inspiration and fellowship that you don’t want to miss! I hope to see you there.

For more information visit: www.womensempowermentexpo.com