It’s the God in me!

It’s been just over a week since I performed at the 24th Annual, “National Alopecia Areata Foundation Conference” in Houston, Texas. Not until now have I been able to really articulate all of the emotions that have been bubbling over inside of me ever since. I apologize for the suspense but if you were wondering if I did the thing I thought I could not do, then the answer is absolutely YES! And then some….

President & CEO of NAAF

“I came with an open heart prepared to give and in that position, I was able to receive a heart full of love.”

To say the least, the conference was a huge success for me personally and professionally. Since this was my very first time attending a NAAF conference, I did not know what to expect. Nothing could have prepared me for the blessings that waited for me in the fabulous city of Houston, Texas.  The conference began on a Thursday and from the moment I entered the beautiful Hyatt Regency hotel, I saw some fellow Alopecians checking in and walking about getting ready for the festivities. I could feel the buzz in the air and I was so proud to be down with the crowd and participating in this wonderful display of freedom and self-acceptance.

There were many great moments that occurred throughout the weekend. Each one deserving of it’s own time and attention so I will do a series of blogs about the conference as I extract all of the wonderful lessons that I took from the experience. For today, I can report back that the weekend was as liberating for me as it was for others. I delivered my speech in  bald solidarity as I said I would. I sang my song, “I’m Beautiful”  from the bottom of my heart and it was received in the love that it was delivered. The overwhelming response was more than my 5 foot frame could contain. The requests for autographs and pictures was flattering and yet very humbling. I kept my face together and my emotions in tact for as long as I could. As soon as the night was through, I retired to my hotel room with my husband and I cried in his arms like a baby. It was one of the best days of our entire life. I did not know what to do with all of the love. There was no place else to put it, my arms were full. All I could do was cry. Tears of joy, tears of gratitude and cleansing tears to wash away my own residual pain.

My Alopecian Family

Coming together with others that share this common experience created an automatic bond. Coping with Alopecia Areata has given us a language all our own but we don’t have to say a word. We know the road to self-acceptance and can recognize a fellow traveler when we meet them. We have felt every crack in the pavement of self esteem and have learned to pick ourselves up every time we slipped and fell. To triumph to the other side of the experience is cause for celebration and at the Saturday night dance party we did exactly that. I was on the Conga line as promised and I made my way around the dance floor shaking my groove thing with every one I could!

The icing on my cake!

The biggest accomplishment for me was that I not only delivered my speech without my wig, but I traveled back home to North Carolina without it as well! This was a first for me and a step I did not come planning to take.  I was so inspired by everyone else, especially the children, that my own confidence grew as a result of this powerful weekend. Being surrounded by other Alopecians is one thing because we all look the same. We understand each other and there is no judgement. Venturing out into the world where most people do not know about Alopecia is a another level. I woke up Sunday morning ready to take on a new challenge and stand just a little bit taller, not literally unfortunately. Surprisingly, I was so comfortable in my own skin that I kept forgetting that I did not have on my wig until the wind would blow. I used to imagine that everyone would stare at me if I went outside bald and that I would feel so naked and vulnerable. In actuality, no one really paid me any attention. It was a big deal in my mind but apparently not for anyone else. Yeah Me! It was like the big monster that is really a shadow of a mouse in the corner. It’s an illusion and it is all in the way you look at things. When I did notice someone looking at me, I chose to assume that they were thinking the same positive things about me, that I was thinking about myself. I looked people right in the eye with confidence and certainty. Their thoughts have no power over me and I refuse to walk around being consumed with fear of other people’s judgement. I own my own thoughts and feelings and I choose to feel good about me. If the beauiful, fearless children at the NAAF conference can do it, then so can I. It’s the God in me and it is absolutley the God in them.

Many thanks……..

I have to thank Vicki Kalabokes and the entire NAAF Staff for inviting me to come and share my testimony and participate in what turned out to be a life changing event for me and many others. Many thanks to all of the attendees who showed me such love and support. Trusting me with your tears and your testimonies was more than I could ask for. Thank you to everyone who purchased my film and music. Please enjoy it and share that joy with others. I have to publicly thank my husband who stood by me as always and wiped my tears as he has done for 14 beautiful years. You have all been a part of one of the sweetest memories I have ever created and have confirmed for me that I am on the right path. What greater gift could I ask for?

I would love to hear your feedback on this years conference or previous years. What was your greatest NAAF conference moment?