I will do the thing I thought I could not do.

One of my favorite quotes about courage come from Eleanor Roosevelt. It reads like this:

“You gain strength, courage and confidence from every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.

You must do the thing you THINK you cannot do!”

On June 27, 2009, I will be the guest speaker at the 24th Annual National Alopecia Areata Foundation International Conference in Houston, Texas.

As I count down the days to this very exciting moment in my life, I reminisce on the  beginning stages of my journey with Alopecia Areata. It is hard to believe that it has already been 10 years that I have dealt with it and even spent the last 5 years as a completely hairless human with Alopecia Universalis.

How it all began….

Happy Birthday to me!

During my 25th birthday party, my first small, round, bald patch made it’s debut right behind my ear. It garnered a lot of attention at the party stealing my spotlight and creating cause for concern. Since I always wore my hair in a short precision cut, hiding it with hair was not an option. Before I knew it, I was wearing a wig and I have been ever since.

I made an appointment to see my doctor and was diagnosed with the autoimmune disease, Alopecia Areata. From that moment on, my life was changed and my journey had begun. I began to frantically search the internet for answers and found the National Alopecia Areata Foundation website. It had a wealth of information and resources. While it was very helpful, the reality that there was no cure was also very scary.

I remember seeing pictures on their website of past conferences. There were bald people all hugged up together and dancing and having fun? I thought, “who are these people and why are they smiling? None of this seems fun to me!”  I vowed with my bald patches at the time, that I would have no parts of such things.  I did not want to end up in that picture. I did not want to celebrate a series of unfortunate events. It would NEVER be me.

What I have learned thus far….

It wasn’t the happy people in the picture that made me uncomfortable, it was the fact that I could never see myself getting to a place of acceptance of my situation and still having joy. And what kind of courage must they posses that would allow them to bare it all and let the world see them just as they are? ”Who does these things?”, I thought.

Well, my Momma told me to never say never and as usual, she is so right. Who knew that there could be an upside to what started off as a devastating and painful experience?

“In the process of losing my hair, I have found my true identity. I had no idea that less could really be more.”

Sexy is as sexy does....

I went outside bald for the first time briefly when I filmed my documentary “Project Liberation- My Alopecia Experience.” I was on my way to do the bald photo shoot and quite honestly there wasn’t a lot of people outside that actually saw me. I was relieved and just proud that I got through the moment without running for cover. That was the test and I passed it. I’ve learned to take baby steps and the more that I do, the more I know I can do.

To date I choose to wear a wig because frankly I am more comfortable with it on. The skin on my scalp is blotchy so I have to wear make up all over my head to create an even tone. A salt on a wound if you ask me but the bottom line is, being bald is high maintenance for me. I find it to be so mush easier to put on a fabulous wig and keep it moving! I have made hair an accessory that I change at will depending on how I feel. But on June 27, 2009, I will stand before my Alopecian family and bare it all in bald solidarity. I am going to do the thing I thought I could not do. Boldly, Baldly, Proudly at the National Alopecia Areata Conference. Not only will I be one of “those people” dancing and smiling with my joy in tact, but I will be the ring leader leading the Conga line and posing happily for every picture. So, if your gonna be down in Texas, look me up and wish me luck.

Yee- Haw!